Expert Birth Doula at Your Service

My son Elijah was born when I was just 21 years old. I had no idea what to expect during the labor and delivery process or even what to ask of my medical team. All I knew was that I was supposed to be giving birth on January 28th, 2006 and although I was young I was excited to be a mom. Have you ever heard the saying if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans, well I woke up on January 4, 2016 at 3:00 am with serious contractions...3 weeks early! I immediately called my doctor who told me to “wait it out” and make sure they were “true” contractions. After speaking with the doctor I called my sister, who had birthed 3 children and who was then and still remains a major part of my support system and she told me the same thing! Once I realized that the contractions were indeed “real” you might think I would have rushed to the hospital right? Nope! I showered, shaved my legs (because that’s a must... not), vacuumed my apartment and THEN went to the hospital. Once I arrived I was put in a room, told I was 4 cm dilated and just barely over 34 weeks. The doctor wanted to stop my contractions but they were too intense. I was given an enema, which they don't even do that anymore and I laid in bed for hours! At 8cm I was given an epidural that didn’t kick in until after I started pushing. At 10:00 pm the doctor put my legs in stirrups and told me to push. I hadn't taking any birth classes so I was not familiar with how to push. After "pushing" for roughly 5 minutes nothing was happening. I remember waiting for the “right” time to scream, it’s what I had seen from friends and on tv. The doctor then proceeded to ask the nurse to get the vacuum and Elijah was essentially sucked out! I didn’t realize how traumatic his birth was until years later in the moment I was just happy he was here. Each day with Elijah is a blessing to me, he made me a mommy!

I was more prepared for my daughter Naomi‘s birth than I was for Elijah’s. Being Elijah’s mother gave me the confidence I needed to be sure of the things I wanted and didn’t want during Naomi’s birthing process. Naomi’s due date was May 3 however she was born April 12. Early births seemed to be becoming a trend, go figure. Once again in the middle of the night contractions started, but this time I wasn’t as young, I wasn’t alone, and I knew my contractions were real! My fiance’ and I got up grabbed our overnight bags and went to the hospital. Once there I was told that my contractions were too far apart but that I was in pre-labor, I had the option of going back home or staying at the hospital and laboring. I decided to stay at the hospital to labor; I walked the halls, took showers, and baths. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through each contraction but I decided that no matter what I wasn't getting an epidural and that my baby would under no circumstances be sucked out! Although I refused the epidural I was given Pitocin to help intensify my contractions hopefully moving things along. After laboring for hours and only reaching 5 cm dilated my sister and the doctor said to themselves we’ve got plenty of time before this show gets going and they left and went to lunch. While they were at lunch I decided to take another bath to help me cope with my contractions, they were kicking my butt. I got in the bathtub, was in there for roughly 10 minutes, felt like a bowling ball was in my tush, and next thing I know Naomi is coming out! I delivered my own baby in the hospital bathtub! She was by far my easiest labor. She is the light of my life and my right hand girl!

You’ve heard the quote “when you know better you do better” well with my daughter Micah’s birth I knew better so I did better. I made the personal decision to go with a midwife in lieu of an OB. I wanted my birthing experience to be completely natural, not just exempt from pharmaceutical support but natural and supportive of the mind, body, and spirit of both me and my baby. I gained 30 pounds while carrying Micah. This was the most weight I had ever gained and it was challenging for me as I had never experienced this type of weight gain during my other pregnancies. However this would be the first of many firsts experienced with Micah. She was my first child to go beyond 34 weeks, I had Micah at 39 weeks and two days and it felt like 12 months! I went into labor with her at 8:00 pm and labored throughout the night at the hospital. I walked, did squats and lots of marching as my coping mechanism for the pain. After taking a bath, in the hopes Micah would come out like Naomi, I felt the same bowling ball pressure but this time when I felt the pressure I got out of the tub. My midwife checked me and I had a bulging sack of water, my midwife broke my water and Micah came out roughly 5 minutes later. Micah was instantly alert, eyes as wide as they are today! She was also my largest baby, such a cute little chunk! Micah keeps me on my toes and continues to trail-blaze “firsts”!

With my daughter Gabrielle’s birth I decided I would labor in our home as long as possible. I went to my midwife that morning and was 4 cm dilated, my active labor contractions were about 3 to 5 minutes apart. I went to the chiropractor for an adjustment, and did some grocery shopping. I decided to do one on one activities with each of my children understanding this was the last time I would just have three kids. I went for a long walk and during the walk my contractions intensified. It was time to call my husband to come home from work so we could go to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital I was just about 9 cm dilated and although Gabrielle was not my largest baby she would prove to be my hardest labor. While pushing I realized that what I was doing wasn't working. I knew I needed to make a change in the way in which I pushed. I didn't know what but something was very different and didn't feel right. I listened to my body and turned on my side and began to push. After almost 15 minutes of intense focused pushing Gabrielle was out. To our surprise she was sunny side up meaning she was face up when she came out. This positioning can be very dangerous to both mommy and baby and was the reason why pushing had been much harder this time. Although things moved quickly she was still my hardest labor. I got to the hospital at 5:36 and Gabrielle was born at 6:16pm. Although she may be smallest she is fierce, the baby of our family in every way! She has each of us wrapped around her pinky finger, except for maybe Micah!

Josiah birth story It’s taken me two years and 11 months to post Josiah‘s birth story. Not every birth goes as planned and sometimes it takes time to heal from your trauma before you can proceed forward. Josiah‘s due date was November 22, 2020 my best friend Reba had come in town to finally be present at my birth she had missed all four of my other births by days, and some just hours. We walked, ran, did squats, curb and walking all the things to get him to come while she was with me.  The day she left I was still pregnant standing in my driveway, watching her drive down the street back home to Michigan. All I could do was cry, my frustration and disappointment, knowing she would once again miss my child’s birth was overwhelming. God had other plans an hour after she left my mucous plug started to come out. I knew my body was finally ready for labor. Almost midnight on November 13 I had a contraction that hit me like a ton of bricks. I called my midwife and doula an hour later knowing that my contractions were intense and consistent I knew it was go time. I walked upstairs, prayed over each of my children and closed their doors as I was having my first homebirth and did not want to disturb their sleep. Then I went to the kitchen and started preparing snacks for my birthing team, thinking that this could go on well into the early afternoon. I finally woke my husband and told him it was time to welcome our baby boy.  My midwife arrived at 1:58, I excitedly welcomed her. It was a cold Iowa morning and I remember the crisp air feeling so nice on my warm body. As she set up her station in my bedroom I was becoming best friends with my toilet as I vomited, which is always a sign for me that delivery is near. Josiah was born at 2:05 AM while I was sitting on the toilet don’t worry, he didn’t fall in. I guided him out and quickly placed him on my chest, I was in a state of shock I had never had a precipitous birth. My cameras were not turned on or set up. I didn’t have him in the water as I had planned, but he was in my arm happy and safe. An hour later I was laying in my bed hemorrhaging and unknowingly fighting for my life. Everyone remain calm while trying to assess the situation and stop the bleeding. Ultimately a call was made to have me rushed to the hospital after passing out several times.  From the day Josiah was born November 14, 2020 and April 23 of 2021. I had three surgeries to remove the embedded and retained placenta from his birth. It took over a year of therapy and processing to heal from my emotional and physical trauma. I was blessed to have an amazing Husband and support team. My Midwife, my Doula and friends that prayed for me, dropped off meals, made sure I was able to rest so that my body in mind and soul could properly heal. Today I have a energetic, caring, smart and happy, baby boy. I am so thankful and blessed. I share my story not to frighten you, but to hopefully allow you to realize that while birth is beautiful and magical it often times, especially for black women comes with a bit of Trauma , but we can and will work through that Trauma and be great parents. Don’t let your birth story define you whether it be good or bad.